About 20 years ago now I ran into a guy named Bill. Bill was salesman in his thirties, slightly overweight and always out of breath. I worked with him selling copiers in a small midwestern town. Compared to other folks in the area, we were doing pretty well for ourselves. We were both making six figures and both had nice homes.
When I first met him, he was constantly skirting the line of inappropriate at the office. He would talk about girls butts or some porn movie he just watched. I knew he was just flapping his gums and never made much of the things he was saying. In fact, the whole office didn’t take him very seriously.
One day he mentioned he had an account with Ashley Madison. I didn’t think much of it at the time. Some of the women in the office great sick and tired of his tall tales of bar room shenanigans as well as his chauvinistic attitudes. Then things hit a fever pitch.
A few months ago we all went out as an office and all had a few too many drinks. As the liquor flowed, so did Bill’s lack of discretion. He started showing Pam (Office Secretary) pictures of nacked girls on his phone and then our boss Peter finally confronted him.
He told Bill that if he didn’t knock it off, he would call Bill’s wife. That seemed to calm him down similar to telling a child you will call his mother if he doesn’t stop doing what he’s doing. He just liked to talk and get a little while while drinking… or at least that’s the extent at which we knew about.
2 days after the office party, Bill came in to work looking terrible. He told us the news that he was getting divorced. He looked like he had been awake since the party and probably drinking the whole time too.
Some of the women went over to console him and everyone was interested in what exactly happened. He said “there was a lot going on we didn’t know about” with the tone of defeated man. Looking vulnerable for the first time, he went on to tell us more than we ever wanted to know.
As it turns out, he was a very active member on Ashley Madison. He didn’t believe he was seeing all the local nacked girls from his account so he started creating more paid accounts to see more women. In fact, it sound like he was spending over $300/mo on that site alone. Apparently he wasn’t just playing around, either.
Bill was meeting a lot of these women and having affairs all over town. He was on a mission to find every loose woman in the area and get them into his “system.” It was revealed that he would first contact women online, then had a fully automated response system along with a plan laid out for every night of the week. For instance, if the first date was on a Saturday, they would go to Vito’s for an early dinner, watch the live band playing at Henry’s, then the goal was always to get to the pool tables at Breakshot’s before trying to take her home. I haven’t seen them, but I guess he even had notes with the exact times of when everything should happen that would offer the greatest chance at success.
It sounds like it was all working pretty well until his wife started wondering why he was “working” so many late nights. She caught him red-handed the night of the office party. I guess he had setup a hookup date with a girl he had already known quite a while.
So, fast forward a few months and Bill is in the middle of a horrible divorce. He doesn’t have the same bravado he once did and looks pretty beaten down. He’s been gaining weight and looking depressed. I finally asked him what was going on.
“This divorce is ruining me financially” he told me.
He went on to tell me that she has wiped him out. He didn’t lawyer up or even try to hold on to his money or things. He felt so bad that he gave her everything he could… and then some. She thought he was worth a lot more than he actually was. It’s a rough spot to be in.
With the stress getting to him, he finally decided he needed a personal loan to take care of his bills and hers. Unfortunately his credit had been so ruined, that the only loans he could get were one hour payday loans. Instead of just taking out one, he ended up taking out 6 of them with separate stores across towns to come up with the $5,000 he needed. No he owes almost $1,000 every two weeks just to keep up with the interest on these loans.
This is why you should be very careful with divorce and loans.